Blogging Comments

17 May


When I was studying art,  I remember hearing a quote,

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. By W. Somerset Maugham.
This was certainly true of me as an artist.
In my marriage,I have often thought that I would rather have my husband tell me that I am the woman of his dreams and that I am very beautiful, rather than the truth.
My husband is bluntly honest – about my creative endeavors, my beauty and me in general. Even though it is not what I would consciously prefer, I have come to see it is far better.
In my psychology studies,  I learned to ask a person if they want feedback about something before giving it, and of course, respecting their answer.
In the world of blogging, I find this step is missing — the part about asking if a person wants feedback. If they bare their soul and have their comments turned on, does that mean they are open to receiving feedback? Maybe not. Maybe the issue is too sensitive to them and they want only praise or support.
How can we know?
Denise over at Mommys Journey posted 17 questions about blogging.
<p> © 2010 J.B. Vadeboncoeur </p>


Posted by on May 17, 2010 in writing


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11 responses to “Blogging Comments

  1. jacabur1

    May 17, 2010 at 11:27 am

    I like blunt honesty personally since I myself am very bluntly honest. I also like a little bit of “sweetness” thrown in with the honesty too. I guess it depends on what I blog about that would be a sensitive topic for some but maybe not so much for me, all comments are welcome though for my posting because good bad or otherwise at least I know someone out there is responding!!!

    jackie b central texas

  2. ~ifer

    May 17, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    as far as I am concerned, if I post about it, I want feedback, discussion… thoughts. If it is too sensitive for me to discuss with others, I simply keep it to myself.

  3. Marianne

    May 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Well I want nothing but honesty, even if it is harsh. I hope you know you can say whatever you want to me via email or on my blog. I appreciate feedback, criticism, swift kicks in the tush, etc.

    Personally, if someone says something their blog that irks me, I just click the x and move on. I try to follow the “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” rule. I HATE when people post spiteful comments under anonymous. I feel sorry for people who are the vengeful!

  4. chefyourself

    May 18, 2010 at 1:37 am

    Good thoughts/questions. I think my answer may be slightly different for personal/real life and blogging. In real life, I want to improve, but I’m not always willing to hear it. I have to be ready for it, like say a performance review. Hopefully there are no surprises, but even if the message is you’ve sucked, you’re expecting criticism.

    In the blogging world, I would think you’re open for both-or should be. If you put your thoughts out on public domain, then they’re open for others’ opinions, particularly if you’ve enabled the comments feature.

    Just my 2 cents.

  5. Jb

    May 18, 2010 at 5:02 am

    I think if someone is posting it, then they should be prepared for any comments, or they should turn comments off. I personally try never to put something negative in other people’s comment section. Even if I disagree, I think there is usually a way to word it nicer. As a general rule, if I cant’ think of a nicer way to put it, I don’t put it. That’s the good thing about blogging…you can take your time deciding what it is you’re putting out there in the world.

  6. Holly

    May 18, 2010 at 11:41 am

    I think that if someone is posting personal info, and turns the comments on for that post, they are opening themselves up to comments. That’s the good thing about WordPress: you can turn off the comments on individual posts! I haven’t done it, but I know it’s available.

  7. Bec

    May 19, 2010 at 11:57 am

    I appreciate it when people leave comments and there have been a few that made me go …huh…. but I choose not to get upset by them. If I’m willing to open myself up to other people I have to accept that other people might not always like what I have to say!

  8. pandabox33

    May 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Wow it’s a good post.
    I prefer honesty. However, there are ways to say things. Usually, I know what I think and want and whatever the person says is considered her opinion. But no brutality needed.
    With my blog I have never had a comment that stung, something too honest. I hope that when it happens, I will see it as the other person’s opinion also.

  9. purplume

    May 19, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    I’m glad I wrote this and I appreciate the comments. Because of you all I realize:
    – leaving the comments on does mean you are open to feedback
    – put things as neutrally and kindly as possible, or as Jackie says put in the sweetness.
    – realize some one may take offense no matter how careful you are.
    – be prepared to receive others opinions neutrally, also, per Bec.
    – per Marianne, remember you always have your delete x.
    – If in doubt – don’t or as jb says wait till you are clear.

    My little summary for myself, paraphrasing some of you. Merci.

  10. Holly Jahangiri

    June 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    People should come with warning labels.

    Even if comments are on, that doesn’t mean the blogger wants anything but validation. Then again, some bloggers want more stimulating conversation and they actively provoke disagreement – and thrive on it. Others are fine with criticism and bickering. Who knows?

    When you come to my blog, all I ask is that you be yourself. Say whatever you like, provided it’s not spam and it’s not completely irrelevant (which makes it indistinguishable from spam, to Akismet and me). I just like the conversation.

    • purplume

      June 22, 2010 at 7:18 am

      Yes, I wish I had listened to my intuition.
      Thanks for the freedom to be authentic. XD Love your new blog look and how you customized it.


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